Forgive Me
by Mistress of Sarcasm
Summary: The third piece of my 'Final Moments' collection. Flay Allster's final thoughts as hte fire consumes her and the man she tricked watches on...


Oaky, here's Flay's last moments, as she whispers out to Kira all the things she wishes she could've told him

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the computer I'm sitting at, typing this!

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**Forgive Me**

Forgive me.

I hope that you can.

I know I have no right to ask you to.

But I will just the same.

I really did love you, you know?

Maybe not at first,

Maybe not at the beginning,

But it's just so hard to feel anything for you.

You're so sweet.

So kind.

So caring, and handsome and lovable.

You're perfect.

And so I know you shouldn't forgive me.

But I'm going to ask just the same.

It started with the war, right?

With Daddy dying in that explosion.

I blamed you.

I hated you.

I wanted you dead!

But then,

Then it came to me.

The perfect,

Perfect plan,

To make you pay and avenge Daddy:

Make you fight.

Make you kill.

Over and over and over again,

Until there was nothing left of you.

Until your soul was as enshrouded in the darkness as mine.

Until your heart was nothing but an empty hole.

Yes, it was perfect.

You liked me.

You cared about me.

You _loved_ me.

So of course, of course you would do this.

You would do it for me.

Forgive me this sin

I know it was cruel.

I used your emotions against you.

I tricked you.

I seduced you.

I made you kill

Kill for me.

To protect me.

So please, forgive me.

I know you shouldn't.

But I'll ask you just the same.

We came to Earth

Beautiful Earth where I had been born,

And I claimed you as mine.

You believed it was the other way round.

But no.

No sweet Kira,

You were mine.

All mine.

Mine to do with what I pleased.

And I forced you to kill them.

To destroy them.

Your fellows.

The people like you.

They killed my father

Your people.

And so I would avenge them by having one of their own

Destroy them.

A perfect plan, wouldn't you say

Sweet Kira?

I laughed, you know.

While you flew out there,

Like a brilliant falling star

I lay in your bed

Surrounded by the warmth your body had left in the sheets

And the scent of you

And laughed.

Whispering promises to unseen demons

That it was me you were fighting for

Me you wanted to protect.

Me, you would kill

Kill your own kind for.

It was harsh, I know.

I deserve to rot in Hell for all eternity for this.

I was selfish.

I didn't want anyone to take you from me.

Take my own personal killing machine from me.

So I tried to hide you away.

Tried to shun all the others far from you.

Like that girl

The princess

Who looked like you.

I didn't like her.

She had a bond with you,

A bond I could never have.

So I tried to discourage her.

Tried to show her you belonged to me.

I'm sorry,

For keeping you from them.

I was foolish

Selfish

And desperately afraid.

I needed you to kill for me

Because I could never go out into battle myself.

I never understood.

Never saw what was happening.

I only saw my ambition.

My wish

My desire.

And cared not for the reality you fought in.

Because in that reality, I knew.

I would have loved you too.

I'm begging forgiveness for my sins.

I know you won't forgive me,

But I can ask all the same.

You tried to save me, I know you did.

It's a miracle, in my eyes.

After all I did

After all I said

After every drop of blood I made you spill

You still tried to save me.

Over and

Over and

Over again.

You tried to save me.

Your heart just wouldn't turn against me

No matter what I did.

I guess that was what made you so strong,

My sweet Kira,

And what made me

So very weak.

I was always so frightened

In this world

This time of war.

You set me free, in the end.

You _did_ save me,

Sweet Kira.

You did.

My soul was no longer haunted

Because you saved me.

I saw something in your eyes that day.

Something I've never seen before.

I saw a strength

You never had around me.

A courage

A will.

A determination.

I didn't know what it was

Until the very end

Until the flames were consuming me.

And that's when I finally understood.

When it finally became clear to me why I was weak,

But you were so, so strong.

I saw the hope of all of us

All of mankind

Reflected back at me in your eyes.

You are our future,

My sweet Kira.

You are strong because you choose to be strong.

You choose to find for what you want to protect.

You choose to fight so no one else will have to suffer.

You choose to fight so that you can come back to someone unashamed and proud.

It's her, isn't Kira?

It's that singer

The one I wanted to kill.

She's the reason

You're fighting now.

She gives you strength

And makes you brave

As I never could.

She protects you with her faith

And gives you all of her heart to fight with

As I was never able to.

She's stronger than I ever was.

She's braver than I ever was.

She'd better than I ever was.

Hold on to her Kira.

My sweet, sweet Kira.

She'll protect you from your nightmares

She'll dry your tears.

She'll kiss your trembling fingers in the middle of the night when you become afraid.

She's strong, Kira.

Hold on to her.

Fight for her.

Come back to her, Kira.

And then I will know you are safe.

I have faith in you.

I have faith in her.

I have faith in them.

You are all so much stronger than me.

And I believe in you

All of you.

Bring an end to this war.

Stop our tears.

Bring us peace,

And I will watch over you all from Heaven

And when your children come into this world,

Sweet Kira,

I'll be their guardian angel.

Maybe, with your strong heart,

You can forgive me.

In a far off time,

Maybe my name won't be told in a bitter tone.

Maybe you pray for me

With her

That girl who is so much stronger than me.

And then I'll be content.

Until then,

I'll believe.

I'll believe in you

My sweet Kira.

>

So, what do you think?

Maiden of Sin


End file.
